Feedback Reactions - Relationship Trigger

All feedback is colored by the relationship between giver and receiver. Relationship triggers are tripped by the particular person who is giving the feedback. Not the content or the circumstances of the feedback matter, it is the person delivering it that keeps us from hearing it. Let me give you an example.

After a particularly brutal day at the optical shop, my husband and I sat down for dinner. His very first comment: "Wow, heavy hand on the spices." My reaction: "Maybe, you should have cooked, Mr. Shoes-and-socks-all-over-the-house." I changed the topic from his feedback about dinner to his shortcomings around the house. This is called dynamic switchtracking. Trying to talk about both topics simultaneously is like mixing your apple pie and your lasagna into one pan and throwing it into the oven. No matter how long you bake it, it's going to come out a mess.

Resolution: Remember, feedback is important. It let's us understand how other people feel and think and how we fit into the bigger picture. So, no matter who gives the feedback or how it is delivered, try to stay with the topic. Get curious, Ask questions. It makes for better relationships. Trust me.