Feedback Reactions - Truth Triggers
Feedback strikes at the tension between two human needs - the need to learn, develop, move forward and the need to be accepted just the way we are. It is difficult to receive feedback because get triggered in three different ways.
Feedback Trigger #1
We get triggered by the substance of the feedback. It may be somehow off, not helpful or simply untrue. In either case, because of how we judge the content, we miss the actual meaning.
Feedback comes in three forms
- A Thank you, an appreciation,
- An advice, a way to improve performance,
- An evaluation, a performance appraisal.
When we are triggered by the truth of the comments, possibly by the poor delivery, it is hard to see what kind of feedback we are actually getting. We shut down before we ever have a chance to understand the intent. An opportunity to learn and grow is lost.
Next time you feel your truth trigger kicking in, try to withhold judgment. Stay present and ask yourself:
- What is he/she actually saying?
- What may I learn?
- What have I been missing?
- What is my part in this story?
- How might I benefit from this conversation?